Everything You See
by Demelza
Summary: Alex angst fic.


Everything You See  
Demelza H. Watt  
  
Third Watch doesn't belong to me, yadda yadda yadda. 

  
  
  
  
Like the waves of the ocean, the smaller ones of crime may do no damage, but the others do little to unaccounted damages. The big ones come rolling in behind the smaller, less destructive ones, but when they hit, you either move or get taken in its anger.  
  
Often, it takes only one moment of spoken words for the truth to come to life. On August thirteenth, you finally broke the news to your last living parent and brother, as well as the small handful of close friends you worked with. There was a grim expression from Monty Parker as he took in your words, ones that served not only as a fragile hourglass of limited time, but also the resignation of your position with the Five-Five firehouse. His eyes read like a book. Guilt. You knew in that moment he blamed himself, but you said nothing to stop him as you yourself blamed him too.  
  
Your eyes shifted then to Kimberly Zambrano. There was no hiding the anger and pain in her eyes, the ones that posed regret for what had happened. 'It's alright,' you told her, giving a small smile. Your voice was trembling, but you continued anyway, knowing you had to, for her, your best friend for so long now. 'It's a risk of the job,' you said, but it wasn't true, you knew it wasn't, and so did she, and the others also standing there. Kim crossed over and hugged you then, proving her disbelief of your words, a disbelief she held in a want for it to change what was. You parted from your embrace with her, and overhead the alarm rang. A call had come in and your once colleagues were needed ASAP. There were waves from some, hugs and a few kisses on the cheek from others. Goodbyes were murmured, and soon you were left standing in the dining quarters with only one other person. You felt so alone, so helpless. The vehicles moved out and you slowly turned to Jimmy Doherty. He was standing there supporting a badly damaged arm from an attack weeks before, an attack you yourself had been seriously injured in. There's an expression on his handsome face.  
  
After a moment, legs begun to move and the two of you were now standing only a couple feet apart.  
  
'I wish I'd stopped him . . .'  
  
'Me too.' Your words were uneven, your voice filled with fear.  
  
'I'm sorry Alex,' Jimmy said, closing the gap between the two of you.  
  
You gazed up at him, could see how bloodshot his eyes were. It's affected him, the others too, in ways you never would have imagined. 'No. I am,' you whispered, lifting your right hand to his face. Gently, you caressed his cheek with your thumb, something he had done that fateless night when he'd tried to stop your bleeding, not even worrying about his own. Tears filled his eyes, and you shook your head. 'Don't cry for me.' He swallowed, and for a second you thought he was doing it for reasons of shame, that maybe he didn't want to accept or believe. But it was the truth. There was no changing what happened now. There was nothing left to be done that hadn't already, so you reached up on the tips of your toes and placed a gentle kiss just to the left of his lips. 'I'll never forget what we had . . .'  
  
'Don't leave. Please, don't.'  
  
Tears filled your eyes, tears you promised yourself you wouldn't shed as you asked, 'What's left for me here?'  
  
There was a moment of silence, when he murmured, 'Me, Alex. -Me-.'  
  
'Why would you want to be with a freak like me?' you asked, and feeling your pain, he brought your body that bit closer to his. You looked away though, not wanting him to see you this close. This bare.  
  
'Love.'  
  
Heart racing faster then, you shook your head, wanting to move away from the comfort being this close to him held for you, but you couldn't move. Your legs were too weak, and your heart wanted you to be there, despite the urgency of your mind's pleas.  
  
He placed his good hand under your chin and brought your gaze to his. There was no wince from him as his eyes locked onto yours, something that you had feared since the day the attack had happened. The attack that had left you with three long and deep scars on your face. Scars that would always be there to remind you you were working a job you weren't fit for. Words Tom Mundine had screamed as he beat, and then cut you in his P induced state. More tears rushed to your eyes and you quickly leaned up against Jimmy's strong chest, his hand rubbing your back while he placed a kiss atop your head. 'I'm not going to let you go through this alone,' he told you softly.  
  
You squeezed your eyes shut, and you could have been lost in his embrace forever, when the sound of a horn blaring came from downstairs. It was time, you knew, and you carefully moved away from Jimmy, your sad eyes going to his. 'That's my cab,' you told him, and those three words contorted his face as he shed his tears. 'Bye, Jimmy,' you said, your voice a rush, your heart racing, and your mind beginning to panic. You didn't want to leave, but you knew you had to, and with one last kiss, you left down those stairs, headed for the waiting cab, and leaving Jimmy standing there, staring after you. 


End file.
